We all criticize ourselves once in a while. But if you are unable to be kind and compassionate towards yourself, it may be time to seek help.
We all know what it feels like to doubt ourselves. The person you are dating suddenly breaks up with you. Maybe when reflecting on the partner who left, you realize you were actually not that happy with them, you feel sad about the relationship ending, and you learn from it. But maybe for you these initial negative thoughts about yourself linger. Maybe these thoughts lead to you feeling worse and worse about yourself. It can feel like you have to make up for a perceived flaw.
Do I need therapy for self-esteem issues?
Thinking badly about yourself may feel normal to you, and you may never remember a time when you felt you were good enough. If this is the case, this may stem from how you were treated by others when you were growing up. You may remember a time when you felt good about who you are, and while you want that feeling again, it feels so far away. Maybe you have tried things to feel better about yourself, they work for a little while and then that critical part of you comes right back. If any of this sounds familiar, therapy may help.
Doesn’t everyone have self-esteem issues? Isn’t it normal?
It’s normal to sometimes be critical of yourself, to doubt yourself or to feel the sting of criticism from another person. These negative feelings about yourself would be short lived. But when the self-criticism feels relentless this can interfere with your ability to thrive. If the self-criticism is telling you that you have to prove you are a good partner, friend, or son/daughter, by always thinking of others first, always doing for others, and never thinking of yourself, you likely feel exhausted. If this sounds like you, therapy may help.
How can I help you with your self-esteem issues?
As human beings we are social beings, and therefore the therapeutic relationship is foundational. You deserve a therapist you feel not just comfortable with, but safe with. I bring empathy, compassion and genuine interest into the therapeutic relationship. Together we will explore experiences, both past and present, that may have impacted your sense of who you are in the world.
With a more grounded sense of your worth how would your life feel different? How would your relationships feel different? What would it feel like to live your life for you, instead of trying to prove to others that you are good enough? Together, let’s find out.